DeoisM Levitation
Originally uploaded by DeoisM~dot~Net
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
night on the town
[ramblings about midnight trips to 42nd street at 3 am from time to time back in the late 8o's]
10 hours from sleep on an 8 hour night. Eyes all covered to shield me from the night. Suffering too intense, for a man, with no might. Only the wrong touch, could rub me just right.
Wandering all the wrong streets, till way past late. Never ever drink alone, till you're ready to test fate. Listen to the man argue with himself, loose the debate.
Empty your soul in sleep, while I pile it high - AWAKE!
Watching all these people, so impossible it seemed that all the dirty people were so sincere and all the clean people were mean!
All those people at these places, hiding their faces with only anonymity as a shield at this hour.
Thought they would hit 42nd Street, pray tell what lust awaited.
Their souls felt so dirty, as they masturbated.
Back out side in the rain, drunken fools elated.
While high school teens discover,
these streets, I'd decided I'd hated.
Back to the 'Vill', back to the places I've grown to love.
E-train downtown, yellow cabbie assassins prowl the night above
throngs of people, west 4th street, - push and shove
shuffle me to the street
road kill
a grey dove
10 hours from sleep on an 8 hour night. Eyes all covered to shield me from the night. Suffering too intense, for a man, with no might. Only the wrong touch, could rub me just right.
Wandering all the wrong streets, till way past late. Never ever drink alone, till you're ready to test fate. Listen to the man argue with himself, loose the debate.
Empty your soul in sleep, while I pile it high - AWAKE!
Watching all these people, so impossible it seemed that all the dirty people were so sincere and all the clean people were mean!
All those people at these places, hiding their faces with only anonymity as a shield at this hour.
Thought they would hit 42nd Street, pray tell what lust awaited.
Their souls felt so dirty, as they masturbated.
Back out side in the rain, drunken fools elated.
While high school teens discover,
these streets, I'd decided I'd hated.
Back to the 'Vill', back to the places I've grown to love.
E-train downtown, yellow cabbie assassins prowl the night above
throngs of people, west 4th street, - push and shove
shuffle me to the street
road kill
a grey dove
precious sleep
I wonder how long, I wonder how deep
I wonder how long I can go without precious sleep?
be it a day, a month, a forth-night or a week
how precious to me is precious sleep?
will the colors fade, will the food go bland
How active will I be, how long can I stand?
Of all the things in this mans life
What is more important, his fork or his knife?
sleep is but a mystery, filled with fantasy
your body does nothing and your mind is free
1/3 a mans life is between the sheets
tossing and turning in precious sleep
1/3 a man's life if he's 75
is 25 years he's kissed good bye
deo96
I wonder how long I can go without precious sleep?
be it a day, a month, a forth-night or a week
how precious to me is precious sleep?
will the colors fade, will the food go bland
How active will I be, how long can I stand?
Of all the things in this mans life
What is more important, his fork or his knife?
sleep is but a mystery, filled with fantasy
your body does nothing and your mind is free
1/3 a mans life is between the sheets
tossing and turning in precious sleep
1/3 a man's life if he's 75
is 25 years he's kissed good bye
deo96
Friday, March 19, 2010
what if
Like two soldiers from the same army, they stood and matched each other. The sunset conversation went till dawn. The 24 hour café was empty, but he hardly noticed.
He was mesmerized not by her beauty, but the twinkle in her eye. He had seen it before, but not like this. Almost like a warm fire on a cold night, her face warmed his weary body.
Hers was an intelligence like he had never quite seen, a sharpness of wit. More than once they finished each other’s sentences.
She would stare at him for minutes at a time, only to break herself away and blush in shame. Could he see her blush? She would warm her hands on her cappuccino glass and comment on how the heat is never turned up in restaurants like this , “because the cold makes you hungry and buy more food than you can eat.”
Nothing really funny about it from the outside, but they connected it silently to some cosmic comedy only they attended.
On and on the conversation raged. A misty fog rolled past the window, another minute detail to the déjà vous dream unfolded and ignored.
Sharing their lives was like them both taking a bite of the same fruit and describing the texture and flavor as they chewed.
Almost intimidating, the way they met. What seems like days ago was only hours and would be remembered for lifetimes.
Slowly, the life bringing sun rose over the irregular beauty that is the city. Making it’s way through the once dark streets.
She was embarrassed she couldn’t remember what he did for a living but it didn’t seem to matter, as she had no intention of marring him or anything, didn’t seem to be her business.
His personality was magnetic, had he said he was single? HOW? He’s incredible! Although he has a slightly above average face, his eyes were changing every second never saying the same thing twice, seeming to almost change with each word.
He had a youthful face but was every bit mature, and a gentleman. Both in the way he chose to express him-self, and the things he expressed himself about.
This man stimulated her, he seemed to see her as an equal not some frail woman as other men had made her feel, as far as she was concerned she could hold her own against most men. She has the advantage of a ‘sweet’ look about her. And, she knew she was a tough girl.
“Many women see a tall thin me as a ‘brother figure’ you know? It’s like they can’t take a 6 foot man seriously unless he’s 185lbs.That’s my major gripe I have with most women.”
“I hear you”, she snickered under her breath. “..But large framed men don’t do it for me.” She smiled and looked out the window at an old lady going through the garbage, before the garbage man comes.
Two thoughts immediately shot though his head. He was careful to monitor his face lest she notice his hesitation.
He didn’t want to push his luck by asking for her number although he was tempted. Also if she lost his number she’d be lost forever. He made a private joke about tattooing his number on her body and smiled as he wrote it down on the napkin.
“And, this is my beeper #, my answering machine is always on, so you really don’t need my beeper. No, but hey ya never know.”
“O.K. no problem, I’ll call you and maybe we do dinner or”, she motioned over her shoulder at the sun,” perhaps we could do dawn, again!”
Twenty minutes he was on the “E” train to queens and she was on the “A” train to Brooklyn. Neither of them thought of anything but each other.
Theirs was such a unique coupling. The speed and strength of their relationship shocked even themselves. Months flew past and soon they were engaged and planning their lives together.
They found nice apartment in St.Albans, a middle class area in Queens. One of those streets where every other house has a child the same age as the od house before it.
Things went smoothly for a long while. Before either of them knew it, their second anniversary came and went. Life and it’s many routines never dulled her wit or his sense of humor. The years never strained the intimate and passionate experiences they shared. They were happy and without want.
He and she both worked nights and slept during the day. A matter of choice. They were often ribbed by their friends and family for their lifestyles but for them there was no other way.
Friday, March 05, 2010
birth of Saraine
Birth of Saraine
The birth of my daughter was a life altering event in my life. Saraine Devin Dickerson was born on a rainy night in August of 2008. Today I think back to the events that lead to her birth and it gives me a feeling of bitter sweet candy. I want so much for her to be happy – and I know there is much to be done.
When we went for the third sonogram to check the baby’s health, I asked the Dr. if I need to get a baseball glove or a baseball bat. The Dr. said she didn’t understand, and I explained. “If it’s a boy I’ll get the glove so we can play catch – but if it’s a girl then I’ll get a baseball bat and lean it against the door, so when her first date arrives I can make an example of him.”
The pregnancy that brought my baby girl into the world was my first full term exposure to the process as I’m an only child and never had one of my own. Being present for the process is so important to the experience of being a father. A million thoughts flow through your mind as you run scenarios of your future with your child. The lessons that need to be learned, the pain that must be endured as well as the joy of a million child smiles that have yet to land on my eyes. The future is bright.
The delivery was a blur for me. I put myself on an emotional diet so as to avoid losing my mind. I worried about the health of my child – and Penisha, Saraine’s mom and one of my oldest friends. I held her hand and I told her she was doing a great job, between contractions. Penisha squeezed my hand and rolled from side to side. This was her third child and she was now 40. Although Saraine was the smallest of her children, later she would say this was her most difficult delivery. Yes, this baby shop is closed.
When the Doctors arrived for the delivery, the room had another air to it. My baby girl was the 500 lbs. elephant in the room – although nothing in my life would be different after today – everyone else seemed calm and hushed. I maintained my positive humorous disposition through the entire ordeal.
Penisha pushed and pushed, and finally the baby’s head crowned. I’ve seen a lot of things in my day, especially on the internet. I’ve never seen anything like that. The baby was trying to slip back inside. The Doctor grabbed Saraine’s head before she slipped back in. I noticed her scalp get wrinkled from the Dr.’s grip. The surgeon behind the Dr. pointed out that she was ‘creasing’, obviously a medical term for “you are squeezing the baby’s head!!”, and she shifted her grip.
They told Penisha if she didn’t push the baby out on this contraction, they would have to go in and get her. Penisha gathered all the strength her five foot nothing body could muster, she reached behind her own head and squeezed out the baby – I was beautiful. I had always heard of how new babies look like a cross between aliens and old people. In the light the baby looked less messy than I’d thought she would. Ten fingers, ten toes and open angry eyes.
The Doctor asked me if I would cut the cord and they presented me with some insanely large scissors and a white bundle of tubes that connected my daughter to her mother. I looked at them both and still in a fog of adrenaline and emotions I nipped the chord to see if anyone noticed.
Saraine was being tended to by the Doctors, and Penisha was exhausted. NO one flinched or blinked or cried out. I cut the cord with pride. I kissed Penisha and thanked her for giving us such a precious and beautiful child.
Sleepy time was needed for the baby and mama. I didn’t sleep for 3 days. My cousin came over to help me assemble the crib I’d purchased. I’d not had time to put it together thinking I’d use the time when it came, to maintain my sanity. I stopped thinking when Penny said “It’s time!”
After we got Saraine home, after the phone calls stopped coming in congratulating us. After the first week of midnight feedings, the most pleasant time in my life for the last 15 years was spent feeding and holding Saraine. I loved letting her sleep on my chest while I held and smelled her. Penisha just wanted to sleep on her stomach, something she’s given up for the past 5 months. Both were healthy and fine.
I’d thought of how I would share with Saraine all she needs to navigate this world safely. I scoured my books for the perfect poem and I read it to her every night:
BLACK AND WHITE
In this world in which we live
There is evil and there is good
About these two opposites
A few things must be understood.
Each side is true to itself and is 100% pure.
Good is good and evil is bad
Of this you can be sure!
There must be more to this battle
For this is far to clean
Whenever there is long held strife
Nothing is what It might seem
Each side has its own agents
To turn black and white to grey
Some help give you guidance
While others lead you astray
Deo
I hope she reads this and it helps!
The future for my family and me is as unknown as anyone else’s. Moving forward I definitely want to provide my daughter with the sensitivity and insight that was present in my early years as I feel it’s made all the difference in the person I am today. I’m proud of whom I’ve become and I love myself. Those are the best gifts I can provide Saraine with, the ability to self love is crucial to a positive development of the human mind.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Mumma Was My Role-Model
Mumma Was My Role-Model
This essay about “important people who influenced your life" left me lost. I had no idea who I should write about. I choose to write about my grandmother. I know what you are thinking, but this isn’t your typical grandma story. This is not your typical grandmother.
I can’t explain her qualities. They are not tangible, as there was an air about her that is best described through examples of her thoughts, so I’ll share with you the very first memory I have of her, the time I wrote in the wet concrete in front of our home.
We all lived in a 3 story corner home in Springfield Gardens. Like the name of the area suggests in your mind, there were tree lined streets. The entire neighborhood was newly developed as a part of the construction of the Rochdale Village Co-op apartment development. Homes were middle class and many of the families there were relocating from other areas like Harlem, which is how my family got there.
One day during my 4th or 5th year, they had repaved the sidewalks as a final step to development of the neighborhood. As you can imagine having just recognizing the concept of time, I wanted to write my name in concrete because I saw other names written in concrete in the neighborhood and couldn’t wait for my opportunity at immortality!
After writing my name in the wet cement I proudly ran into the house and told Mumma (pronounced muh-muh) as we called her, what I did. “I wrote my name in the sidewalk outside!” I proclaimed. “Really!?!?” she said and she looked at me with the same excitement in her eyes that I had.
I told her how I found a stick and how my name would be there for all to see - FOREVER!! “Really?” she said, still excited as I was. She was making her famous tea, and had just added the cream when I came in so, she was now sitting down in front of her favorite window to watch the birds in our back yard.
All of a sudden, a look came over her face, and she said, “But wait. For –Ever?”. She separated the word so I could gleam the understanding of what forever means. “Yes!”, I replied, still proud of myself for the timeless achievement. Then she said, “ But won’t people walk on it? It is a sidewalk.”. I froze, I had not thought about that for this was not my intention. “I don’t know if I want people walking on my name, FOR-EVER.”, she said. “ I think I want my name up high, like on a billboard, or in lights like a star!”.
How could I have not seen this? I was suddenly taken by the thoughts she fed me. “I want my name up high too!” I replied. “I want your name up high too!”, she said as she smiled quietly to herself. She stirred her tea and looked out the window; a squirrel had just dug up a nut and ran off to do what squirrels do with freshly recovered nuts. She had a love of nature that spilled out to all her children and me, her first grandson.
I immediately ran outside fearing the cement had dried, dooming me to eternity underfoot!! It had not – and I quickly brushed off my name, as I had seen the workers brush the surface of the material to add texture…I removed my name and made a mess. However, my name would not be walked on FOR-EVER, and I was glad.
Often when I tell people these stories, I feel sorry. Not for my grandma, because I know she’s in a better place. The sorrow I feel is for the people that hear about her but will never actually speak with her, to witness her unique personality and blossoming spirit. Perpetual positive motivation the likes of which I’ve never seen again. The world is a sadder less inspired place without her. She had a way of speaking to you that made you feel like the most important of God’s creatures, because she honestly felt we were. We were her children, my aunts and uncles, my mom and me. We all lived in that home on and off for the next 20 years.
me, Mumma and my Uncle Ameaga ( I'm on the right, in the pampers.)Julia Ellen Martin Rogers passed away February 13, 2001 of cancer. She was a brilliant force in my early life, and to this day lessons still flood my memory when situations arise. I’ve found that the only really big issues in my life exist because early on I did not stop to think, what would Mumma say? What would Mumma do?
I miss her and I love her to this day. And there again is that familiar sorrow that comes with sharing her story with you, because these pages and words will never shine a light on her flesh and blood.
This essay about “important people who influenced your life" left me lost. I had no idea who I should write about. I choose to write about my grandmother. I know what you are thinking, but this isn’t your typical grandma story. This is not your typical grandmother.
I can’t explain her qualities. They are not tangible, as there was an air about her that is best described through examples of her thoughts, so I’ll share with you the very first memory I have of her, the time I wrote in the wet concrete in front of our home.
We all lived in a 3 story corner home in Springfield Gardens. Like the name of the area suggests in your mind, there were tree lined streets. The entire neighborhood was newly developed as a part of the construction of the Rochdale Village Co-op apartment development. Homes were middle class and many of the families there were relocating from other areas like Harlem, which is how my family got there.
One day during my 4th or 5th year, they had repaved the sidewalks as a final step to development of the neighborhood. As you can imagine having just recognizing the concept of time, I wanted to write my name in concrete because I saw other names written in concrete in the neighborhood and couldn’t wait for my opportunity at immortality!
After writing my name in the wet cement I proudly ran into the house and told Mumma (pronounced muh-muh) as we called her, what I did. “I wrote my name in the sidewalk outside!” I proclaimed. “Really!?!?” she said and she looked at me with the same excitement in her eyes that I had.
I told her how I found a stick and how my name would be there for all to see - FOREVER!! “Really?” she said, still excited as I was. She was making her famous tea, and had just added the cream when I came in so, she was now sitting down in front of her favorite window to watch the birds in our back yard.
All of a sudden, a look came over her face, and she said, “But wait. For –Ever?”. She separated the word so I could gleam the understanding of what forever means. “Yes!”, I replied, still proud of myself for the timeless achievement. Then she said, “ But won’t people walk on it? It is a sidewalk.”. I froze, I had not thought about that for this was not my intention. “I don’t know if I want people walking on my name, FOR-EVER.”, she said. “ I think I want my name up high, like on a billboard, or in lights like a star!”.
How could I have not seen this? I was suddenly taken by the thoughts she fed me. “I want my name up high too!” I replied. “I want your name up high too!”, she said as she smiled quietly to herself. She stirred her tea and looked out the window; a squirrel had just dug up a nut and ran off to do what squirrels do with freshly recovered nuts. She had a love of nature that spilled out to all her children and me, her first grandson.
I immediately ran outside fearing the cement had dried, dooming me to eternity underfoot!! It had not – and I quickly brushed off my name, as I had seen the workers brush the surface of the material to add texture…I removed my name and made a mess. However, my name would not be walked on FOR-EVER, and I was glad.
Often when I tell people these stories, I feel sorry. Not for my grandma, because I know she’s in a better place. The sorrow I feel is for the people that hear about her but will never actually speak with her, to witness her unique personality and blossoming spirit. Perpetual positive motivation the likes of which I’ve never seen again. The world is a sadder less inspired place without her. She had a way of speaking to you that made you feel like the most important of God’s creatures, because she honestly felt we were. We were her children, my aunts and uncles, my mom and me. We all lived in that home on and off for the next 20 years.
me, Mumma and my Uncle Ameaga ( I'm on the right, in the pampers.)I miss her and I love her to this day. And there again is that familiar sorrow that comes with sharing her story with you, because these pages and words will never shine a light on her flesh and blood.
Friday, February 12, 2010
the book report
One student turned in the following book report,
With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99
Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99
Titanic:...... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:.... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe..
Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :... Let's not go there.
Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember jack.
Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :...... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing
With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99
Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99
Titanic:...... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:.... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe..
Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :... Let's not go there.
Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember jack.
Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :...... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Monday, November 02, 2009
a little lady borrowed my eyes
this little lady
borrowed my eyes...
she didn't ask, though options were many
- she got mine!!
you might think me upset at the thief
but i'm not...
this little lady
with her huge will
which she works through little hands
screaming reaching crying demands
you might think me upset at the diva
but i'm not....
this little lady
who has no secrets
no shame, no apologies
and makes me wipe her bottom
you might think me offended
but i'm not....
I'd share with her views to see through those eyes
I'd nourish her desire to feed off the world around her
and yes - even give in to her demands because this, is my little queen.
I'd listen to her secrets and expect no shame nor apologies
there's just no room for anything but love...
and I am honored to care for my addition to the family tree..
She's my baby girl - and that just don't bother me!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Friday, November 07, 2008
Chicago IL Election Night
We have a new president - in our new President.
Like me - people view and doubt.
like me - his youth was not always prefect.
Like me - he's not always the first choice for the job..
Like me...
All he needs is a chance!
Monday, September 22, 2008
deodrumsample
deodrumsample
Originally uploaded by DeoisM~dot~Net
Monday, September 08, 2008
CPU FROM TRON (the movie)
Saraine Devin Dickerson
dob:8-16-08
My daughter,
my form of inspiration
my faith
my hope
my love
my daughter
d
e
o8
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Feeling Blue- or barely happy - ( HAPPY-ISH)
a Friend can feel your woe-
and one sent me this:
( thank you shayde )
her words =>
I know what you mean about the loneliness.
Here's a blog from last week:
You Can’t Always Get a Pony and an Ice Cream Sundae
The lesson that I’ve been working with all week. I understood the lesson, only there was one problem…
I really w-a-n-t-e-d a pony and an ice cream sundae, which led to a wicked case of The Cooties.
I came down with The Cooties a few days ago and I’m writing this in hopes of an ailment.
In case you’re wondering what The Cooties are let me explain.
People who have The Cooties have a fucked up attitude problem, and they KNOW that they’re the ones with the problem, only they can’t shake the chip on their ever growing hunchback-like shoulder.
It's usually caused by stress, working too hard and the repercussions of not staying in tuned with themselves. Going so long and then finally screaming, "ENOUGH!!!!! I need I need I neED InEeD i nEED!!!"
And what transpires is an overdose of self-indulgence, sarcasm and unfocused anger.
When a person with The Cooties needs to apologize it will look something like this:
“Okay, I forgive you already….”
“Dude…you can’t be mad at me forever, it’s bad for your health….come on now…”
And then I got a visit from the Bad Advice Bears as I was leaving work yesterday. For those of you who have seen Avenue Q you will immediately understand and can fast forward to where it says HERE:
For everyone else The Bad Advice Bears are as cute as buttons, they look like the Care Bears, the female wears pearls around her neck. They have very happy, high-pitched voices and they give really bad advice.
HERE: So there I am walking out of work…
*poof*
Bad Advice Bear #1: “Wow….it sure is dark outside….why don’t you skip school tonight?”
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Yeah, you’ve been under a lot of StrEsS lately…why don’t you just kick back and open a bottle of wine? YYYYYYEEEEAAAHHHH!!!”
Shayde: “Guys, cut it out I really have to get to school.”
Bad Advice Bear #1: “Okay…….”
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Have it your way…..”
(still floating around my head as I try to ignore their magnetic onyx button eyes)
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Well, you could go shopping for stripey socks first and get a fresh box of cRaYonS and THEN open a bottle of wine, YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”
Bad Advice Bear #1:”YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”
Shayde: “It is cold outside…”
So there I am in my car with The Cooties and bad ideas running through my head. Now, here’s a question, why is it when you have the cooties everyone seems to be able to smell the stench from miles away? I called a few friends and the cootie odor sent me straight to voicemail.
“Okay…yeah I can see how I deserve voicemail….but FINE! I don’t need you. I DON’T NEED ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” This is one of the major problems with The Cooties. You need extra love and someone to tell you that you’re alright but you’re foaming at the mouth and ready to bite at whoever’s the closest to you. When you have The Cooties you’re stuck with yourself and your attitude. I knew this was a bad case because I didn’t even want to hang out with myself.
I did manage to get a hold of some friends that were immune to my cooties. The ~legendary~ Brian Mazo himself . I told him that he had to move back to Los Angeles. I still don't know how he manages to blink away my threats. And I got my Brudder on the phone. His advice sounds something like this:
“Yeah well, ya know…..sometimes ya just gotta have The Cooties. Lay low for awhile and let them work it out.”
I thought of my options:
Option#1: Get drunk, pass out, and forget who I am for a few hours….
But that won’t work because I’ll only wake up to myself having to go to work and still with the cooties plus a hangover
Option#2: Meditate and ritualize the ickies away
Yeah yeah I burned some Godamn sage and candles, went over my gratitude list and listened to Dead Can Dance but I didn’t see no ponies or ice cream sundaes floating my way
Option #3: Just be a tree. Shut the fuck up for a little while, hang out with my skanky self and try to work it out with some crayons, paint, journal pages and wine I went for number 3.
Feeling better this morning.
A song that I really like is on the radio. The cooties are melting away…..
I think I might just hitch a ride to pistachio and butterscotch horizons on a Shetland pony.
and one sent me this:
( thank you shayde )
her words =>
I know what you mean about the loneliness.
Here's a blog from last week:
You Can’t Always Get a Pony and an Ice Cream Sundae
The lesson that I’ve been working with all week. I understood the lesson, only there was one problem…
I really w-a-n-t-e-d a pony and an ice cream sundae, which led to a wicked case of The Cooties.
I came down with The Cooties a few days ago and I’m writing this in hopes of an ailment.
In case you’re wondering what The Cooties are let me explain.
People who have The Cooties have a fucked up attitude problem, and they KNOW that they’re the ones with the problem, only they can’t shake the chip on their ever growing hunchback-like shoulder.
It's usually caused by stress, working too hard and the repercussions of not staying in tuned with themselves. Going so long and then finally screaming, "ENOUGH!!!!! I need I need I neED InEeD i nEED!!!"
And what transpires is an overdose of self-indulgence, sarcasm and unfocused anger.
When a person with The Cooties needs to apologize it will look something like this:
“Okay, I forgive you already….”
“Dude…you can’t be mad at me forever, it’s bad for your health….come on now…”
And then I got a visit from the Bad Advice Bears as I was leaving work yesterday. For those of you who have seen Avenue Q you will immediately understand and can fast forward to where it says HERE:
For everyone else The Bad Advice Bears are as cute as buttons, they look like the Care Bears, the female wears pearls around her neck. They have very happy, high-pitched voices and they give really bad advice.
HERE: So there I am walking out of work…
*poof*
Bad Advice Bear #1: “Wow….it sure is dark outside….why don’t you skip school tonight?”
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Yeah, you’ve been under a lot of StrEsS lately…why don’t you just kick back and open a bottle of wine? YYYYYYEEEEAAAHHHH!!!”
Shayde: “Guys, cut it out I really have to get to school.”
Bad Advice Bear #1: “Okay…….”
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Have it your way…..”
(still floating around my head as I try to ignore their magnetic onyx button eyes)
Bad Advice Bear #2: “Well, you could go shopping for stripey socks first and get a fresh box of cRaYonS and THEN open a bottle of wine, YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”
Bad Advice Bear #1:”YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”
Shayde: “It is cold outside…”
So there I am in my car with The Cooties and bad ideas running through my head. Now, here’s a question, why is it when you have the cooties everyone seems to be able to smell the stench from miles away? I called a few friends and the cootie odor sent me straight to voicemail.
“Okay…yeah I can see how I deserve voicemail….but FINE! I don’t need you. I DON’T NEED ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” This is one of the major problems with The Cooties. You need extra love and someone to tell you that you’re alright but you’re foaming at the mouth and ready to bite at whoever’s the closest to you. When you have The Cooties you’re stuck with yourself and your attitude. I knew this was a bad case because I didn’t even want to hang out with myself.
I did manage to get a hold of some friends that were immune to my cooties. The ~legendary~ Brian Mazo himself . I told him that he had to move back to Los Angeles. I still don't know how he manages to blink away my threats. And I got my Brudder on the phone. His advice sounds something like this:
“Yeah well, ya know…..sometimes ya just gotta have The Cooties. Lay low for awhile and let them work it out.”
I thought of my options:
Option#1: Get drunk, pass out, and forget who I am for a few hours….
But that won’t work because I’ll only wake up to myself having to go to work and still with the cooties plus a hangover
Option#2: Meditate and ritualize the ickies away
Yeah yeah I burned some Godamn sage and candles, went over my gratitude list and listened to Dead Can Dance but I didn’t see no ponies or ice cream sundaes floating my way
Option #3: Just be a tree. Shut the fuck up for a little while, hang out with my skanky self and try to work it out with some crayons, paint, journal pages and wine I went for number 3.
Feeling better this morning.
A song that I really like is on the radio. The cooties are melting away…..
I think I might just hitch a ride to pistachio and butterscotch horizons on a Shetland pony.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
From Welding To Typing
It took me years, but it's official
I'm a professional web developer.
used to be a full time custom metal fabricator.
now i build websites..
I love it when a plan comes together.
nothing like keeping a promise...
to your self..
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Amazing Math
OK so when one of you figures out how this actually works...please let me know!
YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!
YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT
BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757...
If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
7. ADD ONE FOR EVERY YEAR AFTER 2007.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number.
(i.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!!!)
YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!
YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT
BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757...
If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
7. ADD ONE FOR EVERY YEAR AFTER 2007.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number.
(i.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!!!)
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
deo on the scene
In 2005 I completed fabricating this project with two other guys, the guy running the job - ( he did the bow), the guy who did most of the ribbons..
and me - the guy who did the boxes and the bow brace, and I did all the braces that hold that thing to the building
I'm SOO PROUD!!!
Creative Engineering consulted me
God gave me the skills
:)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
is that my baby? ( sung to the theme of CeeLo "Crazy")
...crazy....
I remember when
I remember
I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that face
Even your booty had an ego
and Not so much space
Mmm�
And when we were out there
Without care
Yeah, I was about your touch
And it wasn't because I could't get enough
I just got too much
Mmm�
Is that my baby?
Is that my baby?
Is that my baby?
Probably
I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice
That's my only advice
Mmm�
Come on now
Who were you
Who were you
Who were you
Who were you with that month
Ha ha ha
Bless your soul
You really think I am the one?!?!?
Well
I think you're mommy
I think you're mommy
I think you're mommy
How could it be
Dad never had the heart
To live the life and have a kid
An all I remember
Is thinking I'll never be like him
Mmm�
Ever since I was boy
Ever since I was boy we've had our fun
It was no evidence I've come
I won't die when I'm done
But it may be my baby
But it may be my baby
It is my baby!
Probably
Aaah�ooooh�
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Welders eye
Every craftsman no matter
what his craft, when he hit's a level
of mastery that only comes with time
spent DOING a thing...
eventualy ones body accepts damage
and in healing tries to protect against further damage.
for keymakers - it's chewed up fingertips
for carpenters is splinters
welder gets the light damaged eyes
10 years ago i was teaching welding at a notable
school that shall remain nameless..
Last year was the last time i picked up a torch ( 05 actually)
there are pictures of that job below
Nicotine Lunch
Ok, got a new job
work with great people
my skin is clearing up
I feel 2007 to be a year
where I will spread my wings
I feel a goat-tee comming on!!
I'm actually warm at this point
you should have seen me getting off the train
walking down 34th street
the wind licks down that street
like a St.Bernard at a rescue!!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
...crazy....
I remember when
I remember
I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
Mmm�
And when you're out there
Without care
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Mmm�
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably
I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice
That's my only advice
Mmm�
Come on now
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you think you are
Ha ha ha
Bless your soul
You really think you're in control?!?!?
Well
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heros had the heart
To build the life I want to live
An all I remember
Is thinking I wanna be like them
Mmm�
Ever since I was little
Ever since I was little it looked like fun
It was no coincidence I've come
An I can die when I'm done
But maybe I'm crazy
But maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably
Aaah�ooooh�
believe that shit?
like the words were written for us Leese
I remember
I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
Mmm�
And when you're out there
Without care
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Mmm�
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably
I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice
That's my only advice
Mmm�
Come on now
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you think you are
Ha ha ha
Bless your soul
You really think you're in control?!?!?
Well
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heros had the heart
To build the life I want to live
An all I remember
Is thinking I wanna be like them
Mmm�
Ever since I was little
Ever since I was little it looked like fun
It was no coincidence I've come
An I can die when I'm done
But maybe I'm crazy
But maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably
Aaah�ooooh�
believe that shit?
like the words were written for us Leese
Friday, January 19, 2007
My First Advertisement!!!
My first well thought out advertisement..
WHAT A TEAM!!!!
Wish me luck man!!!
WHAT A TEAM!!!!
Wish me luck man!!!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
LOVE -IS- EVOL
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres....
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is a lie
that tempts all men
but only for a while...
till I fall in love again,
cause it's only real when your in it...
Deo '07'
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is a lie
that tempts all men
but only for a while...
till I fall in love again,
cause it's only real when your in it...
Deo '07'
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Youth of two truths
Growing up In Queens, in the 70's. I was protected by a blanket of love provided by both my mother and my grandmother. There was pride, and there was the fear of the outside world turning me into something less than their love allowed me to be.
During this time, there were many ugly realities, racism, drugs, teen pregnancy, unemployment etc. While growing up in Springfield Gardens just outside of Rochdale Village all I knew, fortunately, was my grandmothers back yard.
Green grass and many fruit trees - we had a cherry tree, crab and granny apple trees, a fig tree, and what I thought was a vast back yard. This was where I spent time looking under rocks at the lives of animals and creatures going about their business and gave me an understanding of what god provides for us all down to the smallest of his creatures... How we use what he provides - that defines our happiness...
This is what I understood too, that the world was a strange and unkind place. I
I was introduced to the world by the wisdom of my teen mom and the circles she traveled.. The punks thugs and victims were everywhere when we walked the streets... first in Springfield Gardens, then in Far Rockaway, but that story will come later.
Suffice to say today I understand another truth. That what god provides to us, and what we desire for ourselves are two different things. God gives us needs and bounty to satisfy. We give ourselves boundaries, desires, limits and wants that often have little or no benifit to our lives. The more we want, seek and desire the less our needs are being met.
How can one starve and be hungry for only photos of food?
How can one be sad and not seek joy but betrayal in happiness?
How can one be thirsty and seek only to drink sea water?
How can one leave pain only to return to it - in stead of embrassing the pleasure of honest love?
How can one be lonely and chase away those who only want to be close?
In my youth I didn't understand it.
In my maturity I'm confused by it.
In love - I did it
I guess all things come full circle, if you live long enough...
During this time, there were many ugly realities, racism, drugs, teen pregnancy, unemployment etc. While growing up in Springfield Gardens just outside of Rochdale Village all I knew, fortunately, was my grandmothers back yard.
Green grass and many fruit trees - we had a cherry tree, crab and granny apple trees, a fig tree, and what I thought was a vast back yard. This was where I spent time looking under rocks at the lives of animals and creatures going about their business and gave me an understanding of what god provides for us all down to the smallest of his creatures... How we use what he provides - that defines our happiness...
This is what I understood too, that the world was a strange and unkind place. I
I was introduced to the world by the wisdom of my teen mom and the circles she traveled.. The punks thugs and victims were everywhere when we walked the streets... first in Springfield Gardens, then in Far Rockaway, but that story will come later.
Suffice to say today I understand another truth. That what god provides to us, and what we desire for ourselves are two different things. God gives us needs and bounty to satisfy. We give ourselves boundaries, desires, limits and wants that often have little or no benifit to our lives. The more we want, seek and desire the less our needs are being met.
How can one starve and be hungry for only photos of food?
How can one be sad and not seek joy but betrayal in happiness?
How can one be thirsty and seek only to drink sea water?
How can one leave pain only to return to it - in stead of embrassing the pleasure of honest love?
How can one be lonely and chase away those who only want to be close?
In my youth I didn't understand it.
In my maturity I'm confused by it.
In love - I did it
I guess all things come full circle, if you live long enough...
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
The way things go 1
Friggin awesome video clip - saw this once when i was younger - never forgot the name - because it just fit..
again 3 am at my uncles house - this time on channel 13 lol
always leaves me speechless...
talk about a better mouse trap!!
this could be a human trap - just picture some poor unfortunate soul sleeping on a couch behind all those fumes form chemical reactions
again 3 am at my uncles house - this time on channel 13 lol
always leaves me speechless...
talk about a better mouse trap!!
this could be a human trap - just picture some poor unfortunate soul sleeping on a couch behind all those fumes form chemical reactions
Monday, December 18, 2006
New suit and tie
I was lucky enough to have a good friend
bless me with the hottest suit I've ever worn.
Don't sound like a big deal - but if you only knew..
attached is a picture of me - loving the fabric!
Friendships are as strange as people come.
"... Some help give you guidance, while others lead you astray..."
Anyone who flips for a suit like this is a true blue in my book.
Thanks LB!
Friday, December 15, 2006
Worlds Largest Blog Dedicated to Hope
I see promises in your rejection
smiles in your lips
~
The possibilities,
wide open
the opportunity
unspoken
the longevity
uncertain
and time just carries on
the temptation
i should be walking
the hesitation
we do not mention
the desire to inhale your flesh
unknown, unbound, unwound
surround, compounds of the profound
and , infinite resolutions stiffen my resolve
Twisted, I'd ripped it
tore it from my being
without seeing and not
knowing that caring is a sin...
I know when you need me
you will know what to do
call me up - we'll go drinking
and make our own voodoo
every day your life is calling
every day God touches your soul
broken hearts and their mourning
Will make the heart grow cold
you got to be wise to your calling
listen close to what life has to sell
when your heart is collapsing
you will have many stories to tell
every story has it's pain
every person a point of view
and wherever you're standing
you know just what to do
poor hurt thing
vicious in your pain
i hope to see you soon
when you open up again
You precious beautiful Delicate!
come slowly into view
come smile and see
the poetry in what we do
Your smile brings a joy
that I wish only i could share
but i wish even harder
to touch that part that cares
Not now while it's mending
for healing hearts never ring true
I'll wait till it's healed - truth revealed-
then your heart won't be so cruel
we can have our quiet nights
and often a select morning
we can pretend to fight
just to keep love pouring
Dripping down the sides
of our shiny matching cups
we'll pretend it's boring being quiet
and then fake a fuss
I know you feel the calling
cause i see it in your eyes
your heart lifted and souring
will tell us both why
Why when you feel the truth
and your scared - too scared to cry
why you'd rather call him
when he does not care - why
"deo5"
smiles in your lips
~
The possibilities,
wide open
the opportunity
unspoken
the longevity
uncertain
and time just carries on
the temptation
i should be walking
the hesitation
we do not mention
the desire to inhale your flesh
unknown, unbound, unwound
surround, compounds of the profound
and , infinite resolutions stiffen my resolve
Twisted, I'd ripped it
tore it from my being
without seeing and not
knowing that caring is a sin...
I know when you need me
you will know what to do
call me up - we'll go drinking
and make our own voodoo
every day your life is calling
every day God touches your soul
broken hearts and their mourning
Will make the heart grow cold
you got to be wise to your calling
listen close to what life has to sell
when your heart is collapsing
you will have many stories to tell
every story has it's pain
every person a point of view
and wherever you're standing
you know just what to do
poor hurt thing
vicious in your pain
i hope to see you soon
when you open up again
You precious beautiful Delicate!
come slowly into view
come smile and see
the poetry in what we do
Your smile brings a joy
that I wish only i could share
but i wish even harder
to touch that part that cares
Not now while it's mending
for healing hearts never ring true
I'll wait till it's healed - truth revealed-
then your heart won't be so cruel
we can have our quiet nights
and often a select morning
we can pretend to fight
just to keep love pouring
Dripping down the sides
of our shiny matching cups
we'll pretend it's boring being quiet
and then fake a fuss
I know you feel the calling
cause i see it in your eyes
your heart lifted and souring
will tell us both why
Why when you feel the truth
and your scared - too scared to cry
why you'd rather call him
when he does not care - why
"deo5"
Thursday, December 07, 2006
WONDER BOY!! TENACIOUS D
I discovered Tenacious D years ago at my uncles house at 3am on HBO.
Yes that's Jack Black - but way before anyone gave a damn it was just him and his main man on stage and you had to imagine it all !
This dude got my attention for his passion alone..
Everything this band does is a spoof - but the quality of the material - even if it is 20 years too late is excellent!
moral of the story of wonder boy?
NEVER THINK SMALL rize above the mucky muck!!!
Yes that's Jack Black - but way before anyone gave a damn it was just him and his main man on stage and you had to imagine it all !
This dude got my attention for his passion alone..
Everything this band does is a spoof - but the quality of the material - even if it is 20 years too late is excellent!
moral of the story of wonder boy?
NEVER THINK SMALL rize above the mucky muck!!!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
REDIRECT
How do you know when it's not time to trust?When the same thing happens over and over again.
How does a lady disagree with you.
In a way that doesn't take away from your person.
How do you fall in love with two?
You dont stop at one
How do you know when it's ok to care
when you've never heard 'I DON'T CARE'
How can you trust someone who doesnt respect you?
Trust them to do the wrong thing, anticipate it...
How can you respect someone who doesnt trust you?
By giving them their space a level eye and a patient ear...
(They will always hint to you what they will do, you just have to listen)
How do you know she won't be a supportive wife
She's a demanding girlfriend
How do you know she want's to spend the holidays with you?
She invites you to share them with her.
How can a man treat a woman like a lady
It helps if she knows she's a lady
How do you know she wont respect you and your ways
She has no ways of her own but relies on the wind for direction
How do you say leave me alone
Dont answer the phone
How do you break up with an ex....
EXACTLY!!!
How do you know when it's time to let go.
When your arms are tired from holding all the hope.
How do you know when it's time to be quiet.
When you repeat yourself every 3 months.
How do you know when it's DONE?
When you don't have to answer the phone when it rings.
redirect
deo6
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